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Today in a debate I told the entire class the friendzone doesn’t exist and three boys gasped like I told them their parents had died

(via somehomelessdude)

Gross. I own 12 pairs of Victoria’s Secret pink yoga pants and 6 Victoria’s Secret pink hoodies. Why do I dress myself on that garbage

The fanciest outfit I own is a pair of Victoria secret yoga pants, a $12 long sweater probably from forever 21 that covers the patterned band on the yoga pants, and $20 boots from forever 21.

Me: *cowers in fear every time the phone or doorbell rings*


on a scale from 1 to sansa stark, how much do you regret your childhood crush

(via tiredestprincess)

Haha being the youngest child rules. When I was in eighth grade (2009) my dad gave me an iphone. I had an iphone before it was even capable of picture messaging.



That right there is the mail. Now let’s talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail, please, Mac? I’ve been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, OK? “Pepe Silvia,” this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe’s mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia! Pepe Silvia! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself, “I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy’s goddamn hands! Otherwise, he’s never going to get it and he’s going to keep coming back down here.” So I go up to Pepe’s office and what do I find out, Mac? What do I find out?! There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, “Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper.” There’s no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe! All right. So I start marchin’ my way down to Carol in HR and I knock on her door and I say, “Carol! Carol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe.” And when I open the door what do I find? There’s not a single goddamn desk in that office! There…is…no…Carol in HR. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.